BIG DECISION
However, even though I didn’t have enough time to think, I knew that there was something wrong about my future. I felt empty inside. Luckily, after all the hard work, I got into medical school, but I decided not to go. What I really wanted was to fulfill my responsibility of getting into medical school just the way my parents did; I did not actually want to become a doctor. I always liked to travel, to learn new things, new
cultures, new languages, and deep inside I knew International Business was exactly what I wanted to do. I was afraid that not following the footsteps of my parents would not guarantee me a successful life. The truth is, even eighteen-year-old teenagers look up to their parents.
What was very interesting about my experience was the way I faced the whole problem. After all the time dedicated to my studies, I needed some time for me, to make sure that I was now going to follow the right path, make the right decision. During this time of changing career, I was devastated inside. Some of my friends were happy going to college and I just felt bad for neglecting my entrance into medical school. I needed time to think, so I dedicated a great amount of time doing community service. I was always enrolled in the activities during my childhood and my high school years, but now it seemed I needed to be involved in the community more than the community needed me to be involved. Luckily, my mom is enrolled in a program that helps patients in public hospitals. I used to help her during vacation, but now I had a special motivation and that’s what I did on Saturdays and Sundays.
Community service helped me to bond more with the community and see that everyone is different and that what may work for one, may not work for everyone; just like medicine worked for my parents and did not work for me. After helping in innumerous community service activities, I decided to volunteer with my grandmother in the World Youth day this past July. The event was a great experience for me. Besides making many friends from different countries I could get closer to my religion and strengthen my beliefs. Each day I was more and more involved with the volunteer work and although I helped many people, I know they helped me a lot too.
Applying to Baruch College is a big decision for me. Having the opportunity of studying what I love in an ethnically diverse environment located in the city I always wanted to live in is like a dream come true. Knowing how the world works, what is behind the financial agreements and economy that we live in today has always fascinated me, and this college life in the big city is just what I need to feel at home. Even if college life takes a lot of time and hard work from me, I will never forget what volunteering in social activities provided me.
Community service will always be an important part of my life and I will naturally make time for it. Since Baruch is a very ethnically diverse environment, I am sure I will find people just like me, who like to help the community and will support my desire to volunteer in solidarity activities. I also hope my story inspires people to get more involved.
This experience of career change has had a great impact on me. It helped me shape the person I am today. Now, I realize that International Business is my passion and that is what I really want to do for the rest of my life. Getting into medical school was good for me, because I proved I was capable of working extremely hard, but, really, it was not for me. I believe a lot in destiny and that things happen for a reason, even though this experience was hard, it helped me to become more mature and see things from another perspective. Now I’m sure I’m on the right path. Getting my diploma years from now will mean that I’m one step closer to my dream. Until then, I’m looking forward to growing with new experiences, new opportunities, and hopefully a new life full of success in New York City.
Erika Vianna (´13)
When I look at a picture of myself, I realize how much I've grown and changed, not only physically, but also mentally in the past years. During my high school years, I decided to go into medical school, not because I really wanted to, but because both my parents are doctors and I felt the responsibility of following in their footsteps, believing it would lead me to success. It is hard to get into medical school in Brazil. I gave the best of myself every day, because I knew that the journey to become a doctor would require a lot from me. My two last high school years were tough: besides doing an 80-page thesis, I had to study to keep high grades. I would get to school at 8:00 am and leave at 3:30 pm. After that, I would ride an hour and a half to a private course, where I stayed until 9:00pm reviewing all my high school subjects. At the end of the day I was exhausted, but, at times, my day did not end there: when I had tests at school, sleepless nights were as common as the ‘’You look tired’’ compliments I got the following day. What comforted me was my GPA at the end of the semester, always above average. Different, obviously, from my low GPA in 9th grade, when I had back surgery and discovered I was diabetic. My grades went down just like a waterfall. I gave the best of myself. My friends, teachers and family knew it all along, and supported me throughout that time.
Reading Erika’s college essay about what has gone on with her this last year or so was moving in its honesty and its integrity. There was always something special about her smile—sincere, innocent, compliant, hopeful. And yet there was an edge to her, from suffering that simply comes with living, not earned or warranted, nor caused by any personal failure or omission.
She struggled to make up material due to absences, and performed her tasks as part of her LAU. Despite her obvious tiredness she also gave a listening ear and was interested in what was going on with her classmates, especially those who had grown to rely on her support
through the years. Her essay is as honest as anyone can be about dreams, doubts and disappointments.
I truly feel honored to have been able to be part of her journey toward maturity and commitment. That’s what I miss most these first days of retirement, the perks of accompanying students on their personal search for identity and meaning. You come to love your students in
ways you never thought possible and when you are away from them you know exactly where the empty feeling originates.
I was trained to be a professional teacher, and have striven to perfect methodology and pedagogy. But the students have always been at the center of my interests. That’s why I could be so intellectually flexible and why I most naturally looked to them for suggestions as I constantly searched for better ways to present students with a global understanding—something that literature, philosophy and sociology do so naturally, if one lets them. I could love and dedicate myself to OLM for all of its strengths and weaknesses, because it has always yearned to fulfill its mission. That was what kept me going for 19 years, and will continue influencing me into my waning years.
Perhaps the most important insight Erika’s essay gave me was her reliance on community service to round out herself discovery—where she found the courage, perhaps, to change direction in careers, but not in personal vision. No matter what she does, the most important characteristic of her profession is the personal involvement in service. Her strength, energy and resolve to overcome difficulties came from her service awareness.
Her focus reminded me of how my parents served the needs of the community around them for the last 15 to 20 years of their lives. I realize that for me to be happy in the next phase of my life I need to be of service to the community around me. My search for identity and meaning is taking another turn, and as usual I continue to learn from my students.
Thanks again and be well, Erika! John Majka